More WTF

“I am not gay, I never have been gay,” declared Senator Craig (R-ID) at a Boise press conference he attended today with his wife by his side.

He just happens to enjoy having sex with men. Make that sleazy, anonymous sex with men in public places.

But if two men (or two women) in a committed relationship want the rights and privileges associated with marriage, then he'll vote against that. And, since gay people only want "special rights," he'll oppose efforts to include sexual orientation in anti-discrimination laws. After all, gay people threaten society's values.

WTF?

What is up with closeted gay Republicans and public restrooms?

Last month, Florida State Representative Bob Allen was arrested in a public park restroom for offering to give an undercover cop a blow job for $20. The best explanation he could muster for his behavior was that there were scary black people in the area and he didn't want to become a statistic.

And today, United States Senator Larry Craig pleaded guilty to "disorderly conduct" in the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport back in June. Maybe his repeated foot tapping and under-the-stall hand waving was just a call for some squares of t.p.?

That these two rely on "values voters" to put them in office so they can support hateful legislation directed at gay people makes me want to puke.

Projecting

For about the past two months, I've had the pleasure of working through our social security appeals backlog at work. I don't hate the cases, and I've gotten pretty good at determining if there is substantial evidence to support the ALJ's determination of the claimant's residual functional capacity or if there are jobs in significant numbers in the national economy that provide for the claimant's required sit/stand option.*

Anyway, it seems like all the plaintiffs are depressed, many are obese, and all have back or spine problems. I think that reading about back and spine problems for eight hours a day for the past two months has given me my own back and spine problems. And come to think of it, I feel a little sad too.

Seriously, my left shoulder and upper back were tight like a be-yotch for about a month. But, thanks to some yoga, a ridiculously expensive orthopedic pillow, and a therapeutic massage, things are looking up and my health has improved.

If I can do it, so can anyone. It doesn't matter if three of your vertebrae are fused, you have a BMI of 52, and you lack a 10th grade education. If you can work as an order puller** or as a surveillance systems monitor, legally you are not disabled. So get back to work.


*If this sentence makes no sense to you and you have worked in a court, then you probably referred the case to someone else to take care of it for you.

**I have no idea what this is. It isn't in the Dictionary of Occupational Titles, but apparently there are significant numbers in the national economy (as of 1991) to constitute gainful employment in our 21st century economy.

I think this post might have been comprehensible (and funny) only to me and a certain other awesome law clerk.

Hang up and drive

#1. 50-something white male in a small white pick-up pulls in front of me in the parking lot and then proceeds to slowly weave between two lanes while putting on his seat belt. Said 50-something male is unable to accelerate while turning left on a green arrow onto Northwest Highway. Erratic behavior likely due to the fact that #1 has been talking on his cellphone the entire time.

#2. 40-something obese black female cruises along in a white Lincoln Towncar at 35 mph in a 50 mph zone on Northwest Highway, yet somehow manages to not let people pass her because she is talking on her cellphone.

#3. 40-something white female with stringy hair in brown Honda Civic cruises along at 40 mph in a 50 mph zone, a few cars in front of #2 on Northwest Highway. Also shares the ability to not let people pass her, maybe because she too is talking on her cell phone.

Driver in Red Grand Cherokee with the new fake mirror* screams obscenities for the 7 minute drive home from the park-and-ride.



Yoga was extra relaxing today. Candy was the substitute instructor, and we did twists.


*Isn't the fake mirror great? $6.99 from Auto Zone, not including tax. This is actually fake mirror #2. Fake mirror #1 lasted almost a year but blew off somewhere between Waco and Dallas two weekends ago.

Long week

This morning I woke up thinking it was Thursday. This is the second time this week that I have thought it was one day later than it really was.

My dog has fleas

Nacho visited an undisclosed location this weekend that was infested with fleas and he brought some home. He's on Sentinel, a heartworm combo medication that also says it "controls flea populations." He doesn't have many, so I guess the population is "controlled," but that isn't very reassuring.

We went to the doggie wash yesterday for a flea shampoo bath. While that got some, he still has fleas. I've resorted to picking through his fur and smashing the fleas that I catch. This is effective but time consuming.

Oh, did I mention the fleas' favorite place? Nacho's groin. Yesterday I spent about 20 minutes picking fleas off my dog's nether regions. Nacho LOVES this special time I spend with him. Whose the master now?

Office etiquette

If you take a bite out of a doughnut and don't like it, don't put it back in the box. Such behavior is inappropriate in the Land of Good Eats and could subject you to sanctions.