Fashion Victim

I'm unimpressed by fashion labels, mostly because I don't care and I think that designer clothes are a waste of money. However, I do notice them, usually because they irritate me. I especially dislike clothes or accessories where the label is the design, like when logos or letters form the pattern of a purse or something like that. On women, a Louis Vuitton handbag can be fine.* But men, as a general rule, should stay away from pattern-y fashion labels.

Today I was in for a treat. While waiting for the train on the way home from work, alongside me stood a confused gay** tragedy. The (thankfully young) guy wore: an unidentifiable brand of designer jeans, pattern-y Coach tennis shoes, a Louis Vuitton belt with a big gold "LV" buckle, an Abercrombie t-shirt, a Burberry shoulder bag, Dolce & Gabanna sunglasses, and, get this - a pattern-y Louis Vuitton baseball cap. Oh, and he had a gold Motorola Razr phone with a custom download.

I am not making this up. I wonder if all of it was genuine, but the sheer tackiness of the Louis Vuitton baseball cap makes me think the outfit was one big knockoff. Come to think of it, the gold "LV" buckle was a little too shiny. Maybe the $30 Abercrombie t-shirt was genuine.

But what is more depressing: that some would spend $1500 on an outfit that makes him look like a total slave/whore to fashion marketing, or that someone would buy a bunch of knockoffs so that he could look like a total slave/whore to fashion marketing?


*My boss has a Louis Vuitton handbag.
**Trust me. I have good gaydar. Especially when it smacks me in the face like a brick.