Friday, December 29, 2006

Exorcism at the office

I usually don't blog about work, but what happened today is too bizarre not to share.

I arrived this morning around 8:30. After chatting with my co-worker for a bit, I headed back to my office through my usual shortcut that passed through the boss's office. I noticed a criss-cross smear of oil near the top of her door, and at first I thought that maintenance did a poor job greasing the door hinge, since I couldn't think of any other reason why oil would be at the top of a door.

A few moments later, after my co-worker entered her office, she called me and said, "this crap is ALL OVER my office!" Sure enough, there were little and big oil smears on her chair, on her desk, by her phone, and on her door. And with more smears to observe, it became clear that they were in the shape of the cross. Then we noticed oil crosses on all the doors in that section of our office, and even on the doors of the adjacent offices in our neighbor's office. 32 in all. Apparently the cleaning lady went wacko and felt a need to exorcise our office.

If such behavior can be explained, the instigation was the co-worker's cheap-o souvenir voodoo doll from New Orleans that was sitting in a shot glass from Mexico on one of her shelves. We know this was the spark for the behavior because the voodoo doll was doused in oil, and we know the cleaning lady did it because no one else had access to the office after COB yesterday (and, she confessed shortly before she was fired).

Anyway, the exorcism generated a LOT of interest on this slow Friday, with all the appropriate offices conducting their own official and unofficial investigations and inquiries.

Sadly, because my office is not adjacent to my co-worker's and is instead separated by my boss's office, it was not exorcised. And we all know what a hotbed of sin and evil my office is. The whole thing is somewhat amusing, but also quite creepy. I was so traumatized that I had to leave work early this afternoon and take a nap at home.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Not Blogazon's Peace Corps...

Blogger had a link to the blog of some Peace Corps Volunteer in Togo. On it, he posts videos of his experiences in the market, the classroom, driving through town, etc. And he tells a touching story about how a young villageoise discovers that black skin is the same as white skin.*

Watching the videos brought back some memories of my time in the Cradle of Our Fathers, especially the video from the classroom. But then I started thinking...

This guy has wireless internet access in his village, not just en principe?** And he has a laptop to upload photos? If you look on the right column, he also has email (obviously), a phone that apparently works that you can call him on, and Skype. He also has the nerve to ask for care packages (in padded envelopes, please). Why not just order from amazon.com?

There are so many things wrong with this situation that I don't know where to start. I could go on about how my life was much more difficult and how my experience was more authentic and the global village blah blah blah, but suffice it to say that I had none of those things.

The PCV-PCV bush taxi note sent via your student's-friend's-cousin-the-taxi-driver has died an unglamorous death and been replaced with a text message.

I bi di suffah sotay!


*Excuse me while I barf. I'm not sure I would have let the little bearer-of-giardia touch me, but if I did I would have yelled BOO! right as she did, making her scream and her mom laugh. And then I would have thoroughly washed my hands before eating the BBQd snails on a stick or sliced pineapple in a plastic bag.

**Franglais for "in theory," which really means, "we don't have it."

Leaves

I did a lot of yard work today. I cleaned out my gutters, raked and mulched leaves, added them to the compost pile, mowed the lawn and then swept.

Raking leaves is kind of dumb. More will fall or be blown into my yard, and I don't want to do this chore again this season. Really the only reason I did it was because, as the slacker on the block, mine was the only yard that wasn't raked. So my unkempt yard had become the source of infection for others.

But now I have a giant compost pile, so I guess it was worth the effort.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Crazy delicious

I made houska today. Such a project is not to be taken lightly. I spent the morning making the dough, and then had to let it rise - twice - before I could braid and bake it. But at least my fantastic mixer came in very handy. My favorite part about houska, other than eating it, is punching the dough down because you get to punch dough and smell the yeasty air escaping.

Although I've made houska several times, for the first time today I read the photocopied handwritten recipe from my great-grandma (or Grandma, not sure who wrote it) all the way through. At the end, I noticed a paragraph in Czech. Apart from "pivo" (beer), I don't speak any Czech. All I could make out was "doble recepi," and right afterwards, in English, "it is good."



I made a "doble recepi" because making the bread is such a pain in the ass, but eating the sweet bread for breakfast and sharing it with others will definitely be very good. I wonder if that is what great-grandma Koudelka was making note of at the end.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

And now for some sadder conservation news

My last post addressed a hopeful development about a new park system in Pará, a state in northern Brazil. And today I'm posting about a more depressing story: Ebola has killed thousands of western lowland gorillas in northeastern Republic of Congo and threatens the species with extinction.

The area of activity is shown in the map, but the species (which is distinct from the more famous "gorillas in the mist" of Uganda, DR Congo, and Rwanda) is found all over the Central African lowland tropical rainforest, including parts of the Cradle of Our Fathers.


After a little research, I found that this development has been going on for a few years, but apparently it hasn't been as bad as it is now or commanded such attention.

Given the 90% mortality rate and continued pressures from habitat destruction and the trade in bushmeat, I'm fairly pessimistic. It is only a matter of time before the Ebola virus jumps to the eastern lowland populations, or, given our close kinship with gorillas, back into the human populations in the area. Especially if people keep eating them.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

New park system in Brazil

The Brazilian State of Pará created nine new units of conservation in its densely forested and lightly populated north. Together, the new state and federal parks and “sustainable use” areas cover 16.4 million hectares, or an area larger than the State of Alabama or the United Kingdom. The Brazilian press notes that two of the motivating factors for the creation of the new parks are the hopes that they will prevent land invasions and frontier violence.

The new areas form the largest connected system of protected tropical forest in the world. The biological connectivity is augmented by the adjacent legally distinct indigenous areas, shown in light brown.

Imazon, the NGO I worked at last fall in Belém, does a lot of satellite mapping of the Amazon and assisted in the delineation of the new parks.

The brunt of deforestation takes place in the southern Amazon, so unfortunately this development does little to address the problems of land invasions, cattle ranching, and soybean cultivation other than send a signal that conservation is important, too.

While I’m not naïve enough to think that paper protection = real protected area + happy people living there, this is definitely a start. You can’t work to save something that doesn’t exist.



Cachoeira Santo Antonio, on the border of Amapá and Pará

and likely just outside one of the new state parks


Flying over the Guyana Shield at dawn

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Recycling used cell phones

This is a random post, but I thought I'd share anyway.

I ordered a hands-free headset for my cell phone.* The package came with a mail-in envelope for used cell phones as part of Motorola's cell phone recycling program. The program pays for postage, accepts all brands and models, and you can even send in chargers and other accessories. It refurbishes and resells the phones, or recycles the ones it can't refurbish. Proceeds go to participating cash-starved schools, and you keep the heavy metals contained in the phones and batteries out of our landfills.**

I've kept my old phones, and over the past six years I have accumulated four, which isn't bad if you consider I have two Brazilian and two U.S. I'm sending in three.***


*Toolish, I know, but it is hard to talk on the phone while cooking or gardening. This way I can multi-task. I don't plan to be seen in public wearing the borg-like earpiece.

**I gather that Motorola sells/donates the phones to starving people in developing countries, thus flooding their market with cheap, old technology. The no longer useable phones in the developing countries if not given to someone else, are then thrown on the side of the road, thus contaminating their water supply and landfills, if any, with the heavy metals from the phones. But at least we've exported our pollution. NIMBY!

***One Brazilian is being kept for my eventual return, whenever that may be. 2008?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Solamente queremos estadounidenses que hablan ingles

The Dallas suburb of Farmers Branch made national news today with its passage of two anti-immigrant city ordinances. The first declares English the official language; the second fines apartment complex owners for renting units to illegal immigrants, among other things.* Both passed the city council unanimously.

These two measures are incredibly stupid and raise a host of constitutional issues. I don't live close enough to shop in Farmers Branch, but even if I did I'm mindful that boycotts can backfire.

Sadly, the anti-immigrant fervor is not confined to the Dallas suburbs, as members of the 2007 Texas Legislature filed a host of bills targeting migrants. The legislature appears to be continuing its fine tradition of hate and unproductivity. 2003 was the (extended) session of hate the Democrats;** 2005 was the session of hate the gays.

*Not surprisingly, an ordinance fining business owners for hiring illegal immigrants wasn't voted on, presumably because while they don't want illegals living in their city or speaking anything but English, they still need them to clean their houses, wait their tables, and mow their lawns.

**Once again, I would like to point out that but for the 2003 re-redistricting, Texans would chair four House Committees [Rules - Frost; Agriculture - Stenholm; Homeland Security - Turner; Science - Hall (he wouldn't have switched)].

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Election reflection

I certainly enjoyed watching the election returns come in last night, and all day today I alternated between feeling smug and giddy. The events of the past two days only reinforced my belief in karma.

Yay gridlock; yay elected officials being forced to deal with the other half they don't like.

Despite my obsessive attention to the election coverage, I have yet to see anyone in TX remark how had it not been for the 2003 re-redistricting, Texans would be in line to chair FOUR House committees - Rules, Agriculture, Homeland Security, and Science. But thanks to Tom DeLay, our pussy governor (to which we will be subjected to four more years), and the lackeys in the legislature, we've got no one. TX *might* get Intelligence, but only after Pelosi fulfills a grudge and then pisses off the Congressional Black Caucus by passing up impeached ex-federal judge Rep. Hastings for Rep. Reyes. My former employer and the ubiquitous crazy Houston rep everyone thought was my former employer will chair subcommittees, but that's not the same.

In local races, Dallas County is now officially Democratic. All but one Republican judge was swept from office (there was only one Democratic judge as of Monday). I don't think this is a good thing; I wonder if the staunch "elect Republican judges!" people will reconsider our ill-advised system of electing judges. Also, the D for District Attorney won an upset. Even the sky was blue this morning.

In other, much more important news, does anyone else think that Melrose is a total bitch? I know she's competitive and one of the best contestants and all, but what a beyotch. Now that Anchal is gone, Melrose won't be able to make any fat comments.

Also, I planted about 100 bulbs this past weekend. I should have waited two weeks, but I thought that cold weather was finally here. I was not expecting a high of 85 today. Now they are going to start growing only to freeze and die in three weeks. Great.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween

Meet the Cameroonian Jack-o-Lanterns. The larger one wears a foulard and has a pierced nose; the smaller one drank the Castel all by himself.

In Dallas, I'm getting a few trick-or-treaters, all of whom look really cute in their costumes. I'm giving out Snickers, Milky Way, and York Peppermint Patties, all of which I like in case there are any leftovers.

These Jack-o-Lanterns were featured at my birthday party/housewarming 2 weeks ago. They have since gone to the happy pumpkin patch in the sky, which happens to be located in the compost pile behind my garage. I have a new pumpkin, but I forgot to carve it for tonight. Oh well. It will last longer.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Bar Exam Rumors

State judges get a list on Monday of who passed the bar, so try to get in touch with someone you know so you can find out whether you failed or passed 4 days early.

"Reliable sources" say that the results will be posted on Thursday.

Two of the property or contract essay questions were thrown out, so the MBE will count for 65% instead of 40%.

The passing score in TX was raised this year from 675 to 700 to cull the number of licensed attorneys.


On a related note, the movie yesterday was good, although one of the details about the male lead was a bit troubling from a personal standpoint: he failed the bar - twice - and was so despondent that he couldn’t bring himself to study for attempt #3. When the big day came, he skipped out for a weekend away in furtherance of his affair.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

On politics and junk mail

Stating the obvious: I really hope the Democrats take control of one of the houses of Congress on Election Day. Not that they have a plan for anything, but at least a power shift would force Bush and the Republicans to talk to the other half of the country.

Even if the D's pull it off in the House, they are going to hold the gavels by a very slim majority. In my past life I was a congressional aide, and I saw first hand how Democrats just don't have their shit together. Maybe things have changed in the past 4 years, but I'm not holding my breath. Basically, I want to see gridlock return and the excesses of each party constrained by the other.

In local races, there isn't a whole lot going on and the sad status quo will reign. I live in a contested state house race where a crappy Republican incumbent faces a remarkably sensible Democratic opponent. So there is some excitement there.

On an unrelated note, I've received several pieces of religious junk mail lately. A few weeks ago I got handwritten postcards addressed to someone who doesn't live here thanking me for going to their church and telling me that they'd pray for me. Last week I received some publication called "Truth," which was addressed to the Youth Pastor living at my home. "Truth" is a catalog of motivational speakers and lists all kinds of exciting people I've never heard of who can come and share their inspirational stories with my flock of impressionable youth in these troubled times - people like Austin Carty (??) from Survivor: Panama and some group called the Skate Ministry.

"Truth" is now covered in coffee grounds, and I'm off to see a movie about moral decay in suburbia.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Appliance Joy, II

Perhaps this was an irresponsible purchase given this month's credit card statement, but you know what? It's my birthday.

Well, it was, and I got some money last week that I quickly blew on this baby. I have been wanting one for years (seriously). And what better way to ring in a new decade than with a state of the art mixer?

Besides, all the talk of my new gas range led to some promises at work, and I now have two federal judges asking me "so... where are the cookies? You said you would bring baked goods" at least once a week. Apparently there is more to the junior law clerk description than pre-trial management and deciphering pro se complaints from crazy people.

I think I got a pretty good deal on the mixer through acehardwareoutlet.com. It was at least $75 cheaper than retail, AND I found a mail in offer for either a food grinder or a citrus juicer attachment. I'm leaning towards the juicer.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Two machines talk to one another

I'm sitting here farting around on the internet and my phone just rang. The caller ID listed "unknown name" and an 800 number, so I assumed it was a telemarketer and didn't pick up. The default greeting on the phone answered in an electronic voice, telling the caller that we're not here right now and to please leave a name and number. The "caller" was an automated message from AT&T advising me that I just requested paperless billing.

I just thought that was a little weird, two automated voices having a conversation.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Morte d'iPod

My iPod has been having issues. It hasn't been downloading podcasts from the iTunes on my computer, and then it froze up last week on the way to work when I was trying to blot out annoying chatter on the train. It unfroze after I plugged it in and left it alone for a while.

The same thing happened this morning, except that it didn't unfreeze when I tried to reboot it. Instead, I got this unsettling icon:



NOT a good sign. The support website isn't very encouraging and states that this indicates a hardware issue unless I am able to "force the iPod into disk mode." I was not able to do so.

In other words, my iPod is dead. I could send it in, but repairs would cost $249 plus $6.95 shipping and handling, which is the same price as a new model iPod with even more storage minus $6.95 shipping and handling. Whatever the extended warranty I was offered at the time of purchase a year and a half ago seemed like too much, and I still feel that extended warranties are rip-offs. If a product doesn't last for more than a year, it isn't well-made and large-scale boycotts and sit-ins should be organized.

I'm pissed, although I also saw this coming since I heard complaints of dying/dead iPods from others. They are the superior digital music players, but I'm not about to spend another $300 on a new one. I'm thinking about a different MP3 player, maybe one like this that also gets FM stations so I can listen to NPR.

This is cooler, but I wonder if that would make me a sucker.

Friday, October 06, 2006

On politics

I'm listening to the candidates for Texas Governor debate on KERA. Now, I am biased, but despite being boring, Chris Bell is kicking butt with coherent responses and carefully crafted answers that fall within the time limits. He has my vote, but I tend to vote for the losers. Rick Perry isn't doing bad, but I really don't think he has a record of which he can be proud. Too bad that he will win, and how sad is it that the next Governor of Texas will be lucky to win with 40% of the electorate? Carole Many Names and Kinky are bigger morons than I thought. Total idiots. If only their supporters would vote for Bell...

And of course, the Foley scandal that has slimed out of DC this past week is absolutely fantastic. Yes, Mr. Foley is a total creep and yes what he did was wrong. And those poor pages, who just want to be left alone to run their errands.

But - the openly closeted gay Republican chair of the Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, caught in kinky, sexually explicit internet exchanges with underage male pages? And the Republican House leadership covered up for him, and deny knowing anything about it and blame each other? It could only get better if a stained pair of boxers surfaced.

The blame game is pathetic. Foley says I'm gay (we homos can't stay away from kids), and I'm an alcoholic (gay people drink a lot), and I was molested (therefore I was recruited to be gay). The Republican leadership and Fox News bobbleheads say that Clinton did it, or maybe it was the Democrats, no the liberal media did it, no George Soros did it.

Why can't the party of personal responsibility and morality accept the consequences of their actions? Maybe because they would be accused of gay bashing. I'm sorry, but this claim makes me choke back vomit given that the Republican party is the one that repeatedly rallies religious conservatives with anti-gay legislation like the Federal Marriage Amendment and similar unnecessary state-level measures.

At least some of the liberal media has been standing up for us homos.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Appliance Joy

Out with the old...


...and in with the new

The arrival of my new range was the highlight of my weekend. I know that is extremely sad, but it is true. If I were artsy, I would find a way to convert the 1960's electric range with 3 burners and a broken stove into some kind of yard sculpture incorporating a fountain and flowers. But I'm not, so in two weeks it will go out to the curb for bulk trash pick up.

The new one is a big improvement. All four burners and the stove work. And it is gas. And as you can see it has a big window so I can watch the cookies and breads I'll be baking rise. I hope I'm done appliance shopping for a while. Except that I also want/need one of these.

Last night I was social and had dinner Teenymeany. This morning I watered my lawn and cleaned and then went to the Farmer's Market for some plants and produce. I always like playing the bargain/regular price/rip-off game while shopping at farmer's markets. Big bag of green beans for $2? Bargain. 5 plums for $2? Bargain. 5 tangerines for $3? Regular price. 5 pluots for $5 or 10 for $9? Rip-off.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Nuclear Draino

It rained a lot here on Saturday, so I took advantage of the soft soil and removed a trashcan full of unwanted vegetable matter from my backyard flowerbeds. The two big beds are now beautiful and bare, ready for some fall prep work and the eventual spring planting, compost pile, and garden.

I can't believe I spent several hours this weekend weeding. I hate weeding, probably because it used to be imposed as a form of punishment. While pulling out clumps of grass from the future compost pile site, I was reminded how a weed is really anything that grows where you don't want it to. About ten feet away, I am trying to get grass to sprout.

I won the battle with the master bath. About a week after I moved in, the bathtub/shower became extremely clogged and drainage amounted to but a trickle. I tried several treatments of Liquid Plumr gel, and then stepped it up to a bottle of industrial Draino, all to no avail. Mind you, this is not my hair that has blocked the drain, which made this particular chore grosser and more annoying. I was just about to schedule a plumber to come by and snake the drains. This would have involved shelling out at least $70 taking a half day off from work since none of them work on weekends or after 5. Instead, during my fourth trip to Home Depot in two weeks, I decided to give "Instant Power Hair and Grease" a try.

Instant Power Hair and Grease is a scary product. It is sold in a black bottle that is further protected by a heavy duty plastic bag. The warning labels, which give the impression of being there for more than liability reasons, promise certain death if the product is misused, or even possibly if properly used: "only open on a level surface;" "may generate toxic fumes;" "if product comes into contact with clothing, immediately remove clothing and wash affected area for 15 minutes." Basically, Instant Power Hair and Grease is concentrated lye in liquid form. Scary, but it worked. The stuff burned right through the clump of someone else's hair, and my drain is now unclogged.

Yay America, yay chemical companies.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Domesticity

What is happening to me? I spent most of the weekend doing yard work. On Saturday, I dug 50+ feet of trenches to install flowerbed barriers. Then I raked and prepped the giant dirt clod that is my backyard in order to sow some bermuda grass. I dropped $100 I don't have on flowerbed lining and grass seed, and I still had to borrow most of the tools to complete the task.

In the past two weeks, I've been to Home Depot twice, Lowe's twice, and Sear's once. My many trips to the kingdoms of Home Improvement are due mostly to the previously mentioned yard work and me being in the market for a new range.

The range I have now could be described as "vintage." The markings proudly proclaim "Super GM Frigidaire Cookmaster," and my best guess dates it to somewhere around the mid-60s. The current range can also be described as a piece of crap, since the oven is broken, one burner doesn't work, and it takes forever for the electric coils to heat and then cool. But maybe I'm being too harsh, since if it really is from the mid-60s, it has lasted a long time for an appliance.

But I need a new range, and the search for one consumes my freetime. I was just about to buy one this afternoon, but then I thought it might be a good idea to have a plumber come and look at what I think is the gas connection in the kitchen to tell me it is okay to get a gas range. I think I'm gonna go for the Maytag MGR4452B, like that means anything to you or like it meant anything to me a week ago. Translation: low-mid level gas range, $400 on sale at Home Depot, excluding installation ($100) but including delivery after the mail-in rebate and you get a $25 gift card for future purchase of grass seed or other things for your home you don't really want but sort of need.

At least I can say I was hip on Friday night. I met up with Teenymeany to hear two good bands play at a place in Deep Ellum. Once the show was over at the late hour of 12:30, I went promptly to bed since I had yard work to do.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

disenfranchisement

About two weeks ago, I submitted a request for a voter registration application from the Texas Secretary of State's website. The application took a few days to arrive from Austin, and I filled it out and mailed it in last Thursday to the Dallas County Elections Department.

Yesterday I received in the mail a "notice of incomplete information on voter registration application." The notice had seven boxes checked on all the various ways I failed to fill out the form correctly, such as not answering the citizenship question and not providing my driver's license number. I'm pretty sure I know how to fill out a form, and I am pretty sure those questions weren't asked on the form I filled out. The last check box was the most interesting and explained my six other reasons for failing to fill out a form correctly: "you used an old voter registration application. The law has changed and now requires additional information on the new form."*

Recall that I requested my application from the Texas Secretary of State; it doesn't get more official than that. And they are sending out old applications that people are filling out and sending in to their various county election departments eight weeks before the mid-term elections. To the credit of Mr. Bruce Sherbet, the Dallas County Elections Administrator, they notified me of my the Texas Secretary of State's mistake in about a week. But what if I didn't submit the old form until late September? Too bad, you missed the 30 day deadline for voter registration.

Perhaps this was an honest mistake, but to me it is totally inexcusable that the Secretary of State is mailing out old voter registration applications that are no longer being accepted. The whole thing stinks like Katherine Harris's week old eyeliner or Ken Blackwell's dirty moustache.


*Yes, I am well aware of the Help America Vote Act and the new requirements. In fact, I used to work in the congressional office that helped draft and negotiate the legislation. So there, Mr. Sherbet.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

morning commute

On Wednesday's 5:57 AM* train**, I had the misfortune to sit in front of two frumpy middle aged women and one frumpy middle aged man who might as well have been one of those women. You know the type: chatty office busy bodies. For fifteen minutes, they talked about whether BJ enjoyed his vacation, whether someone had to have a more invasive cancer procedure, and made stupid jokes about how yogurt isn't food.

I really wanted them to shut up, not just because of their inane conversation, but because their inane conversation was taking place loudly around me at 6 AM on a weekday. Why can't they stare blankly ahead in silence like most of the other morning commuters?

Thankfully, I had my iPod with me and popped it in my ears. I could still hear them, so I turned the tunes up, long-term ear damage be damned.


*The only way I'm going to work out regularly is if I go before work to a convenient location. The downtown Y has a pool and a decent weight room, so the Y it is at ass crack o'clock.

**Yes, I take public transportation downtown in this commuter unfriendly city. The DART is working out pretty well, and it is free. Other factors contributing to me choosing the park and ride/train/walk combo over driving were: (1) I'm a pinko hippie tree hugger; (2) I'd have to pay for parking; and (3) I hate traffic jams and driving in traffic. Along with my cleaner energy choice electricity provider, I feel morally superior.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Whew....

I've been pretty busy this past week and a half. I'm back in the good ol U. S. of A. I spent the rainy Labor Day weekend unpacking my crap, and my house looks strangely empty with all the mismatched crappy furniture I had in my apartment and group house over the past 5 years. But order will come.

I even started the jobby-job, which is going well even though all I did was administrative stuff and take long lunches the first few days.

I'd write more, but I have to get up early tomorrow and be a productive, tax-paying citizen for the first time in 3 years. Sometimes this "adult" thing feels more foreign to me than Brazil or Asia. I don't know if I can make it 2 years.

Hong Kong II

My last two days in Hong Kong were great. I visited more markets, temples, and gardens. The weather finally cleared up on Saturday to make a trip up to Victoria Peak worthwhile. Here are some photos:

Man Mo Temple

Victoria Harbor as seen from the Peak

Hong Kong island at night, as seen from Kowloon

Macau

I went to Macau two weeks ago this Thursday. Macau is the former Portuguese colony 65 km by boat from Hong Kong. I always imagined Macau as a Portuguese-speaking Chinese backwater, and maybe it was at one point, but the Macau I saw was much more urbanized and bustling than I expected.

Although the street signs were in Cantonese and Portuguese, almost no one spoke Portuguese and responded in English when I opened my boca to falar some português. Macau, with its winding cobblestone streets in the older areas and plazas, felt more European than Hong Kong.

Downtown Macau

Also, there are quite a few Portuguese forts, churches, and public squares. The coolest were the ruins of St. Paul, whose original 17th century structure burned down in the mid 1800's.

Macau's economy is based on tourism, and a gigantic portion of that comes from casinos that are increasingly styled after those in Las Vegas. There are direct flights between Macau and many mainland cities, and ferries to Hong Kong run every 15 minutes.

Fake volcano casino, Fake Arab palace casino

Macau had some of the best food I had on the trip. My first day I had potato-onion soup and oxtail curry with rice for lunch. Even though I wasn't hungry for dinner, I still downed a half chicken cooked in the galinha africana style, which is a sauce made from coconut, peanut, and peppers. Super delicious.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Hong Kong

Hong Kong is awesome so far. The city has so much more life and energy than Singapore that the two cities can't even be compared. Not that Singapore was bad, it was just...tame.*

I'm staying in Kowloon, the area across Victoria Harbor from Hong Kong Island. I met up with some colleagues from law school for dinner and saw them again for lunch today before they took off for Taipei. This evening I'm meeting up with a friend from Peace Corps who is working here in the financial sector.

I did some sight seeing this morning. I checked out a Taoist temple north of Kowloon and then visited a songbird market where I hope to have picked up some avian flu. After lunch, I took the ferry to Hong Kong island and visited a really awesome temple filled with incense coils giving off acrid smoke. I also strolled through some street markets selling freshly minted antiques.

My first impressions of Hong Kong are pretty positive. The city reminds me of a gigantic Chinatown in New York with Houston summer humidity. Enough people here speak English that I'm able to get around and get what I want (with some pointing) without any trouble. Tomorrow I head to Macau for a night. I'm curious to see how the Portuguese is and if people really speak it there or if Cantonese dominates.


*Singapore is the host of the 2006 IMF/World Bank annual meetings in October so expect to see more coverage soon. There was a story in some paper this morning about the IMF and World Bank criticizing Singapore's policy prohibiting demonstrations of more than 5 people. Singapore says that it must maintain law and order and that the policy will remain. I guess the IMF and World Bank want more protestors.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Singapore Airport

The past two days in Singapore were fine. The ethnic neighborhoods were interesting but also felt a little bit too planned. I visited Chinatown yesterday and Little India and the Arab Quarter today. I also stayed in Little India, too, and have been binging on Indian food for the past two days. I ate a lot of Indian food in Malaysia as well.

I also visited the financial district, the botanic gardens, and the shopping district of Orchard Road. Shopping was disappointing. I was looking for either cool stuff or bargains but found neither amongst the global brand designer stores that fill the shopping malls lining a few kilometers of road. The best thing I found was an Orange Julius stand. I thought they all closed; the one in Lubbock did about 20 years ago.

I'm now abusing the limited free internet access at the Singapore airport while I await my flight for Hong Kong.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Tawau & Singapore

I'm going through some diving withdrawal. The past week under the sea was great, and yesterday I had to give it all up to spend an evening in a hotel in Tawau for a flight this morning.

Tawau rhymes with "bow-wow;" after walking around for an hour or so yesterday, I can also say that it rhymes with "bithole." The seafood was pretty good but not all that. The restaurant had a nice surreal vibe, with waitresses wearing the Muslim head shawl, Malaysia flags flapping all over the place in preparation for national day, Filipino beggar children, and some music channel blasting the latest Beyonce and Jay-Z video. After dinner I watched a terrible movie on HBO ("Manticore") and terribly repetitive CNN.

I left Tawau 2+ hours before my flight because the new airport is far from the city center in the middle of a palm oil plantation. With the 30 minute journey, Tawau has become one of the newest members of the taxi driver employment association.

Anyway, my flight from Tawau to Johor Bahru was fine and I arrived in peninsular Malaysia around 1:30. I took two buses to the border with Singapore and was in my hotel room by 4:30. I walked around the Bugis Street area and the colonial district this afternoon and headed down to the river. Singapore seems very clean, efficient, friendly, British, and also boring and sanitized. Tomorrow I will go in search of beggar children trying to get me to pet their donkey in the ethnic neighborhoods of Little India (where I'm staying), the Arab quarter, and Chinatown.

So Singapore got a little exciting for a minute. Some guy walked into the internet cafe and the owner started to scream at him in Hindi. I think he was banished.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Landlubber

Saturday is my last day of diving. After two dives on Sipadan, I'll head back to the rig to pack up my things. I'll wait out the remainder of my 24 hour surface interval in the exciting town of Tawau before my flight on Sunday. Apparently the only thing to do in Tawau is eat excellent sea food, so I will probably have a few dinners and then turn in.

Borneo has been good - two thumbs up. I could have planned the trip a little better and it would have helped had there not been 5 days of shitty weather, but in the end I did what I really wanted to do: hike in Mulu and dive in Sipadan. There are a few more nature-y things I would have liked to have done, like look for orangutans and pygmy elephants in the wild and climb Mt. Kinabalu, but those will have to wait until Borneo II if I ever get around to it.

I am off to the concrete jungles of Singapore and Hong Kong for the week that remains of my vacation.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Daily exertions

The diving remains great. So great that I decided to extend for two days through Saturday. I figure I'd rather dive at a known, awesome site than try to cram in another site in Sabah for my last two days in Borneo. This means no orangutans, but as a trusted advisor said, "you can ride the bus and see orangutans at the Dallas Zoo."

I've seen lots of stuff. On this morning's two dives the notable items were two green sea turtles mating, a leopard shark, a school of batfish, a HUGE school of jack, and some funny looking giant fish called bump fish (they have big bumps on their heads). I'm still hoping for a hammerhead shark; maybe tomorrow.

Here are some shots from the past two days:

The fancier resorts at Mabul Island


Dive boat leaving the rig off of Mabul Island

Heading to a dive site off Sipadan Island

On Sipadan Island for a surface interval and snacks

Note the two distinct shades of blue in the fourth photo; that is where the drop-off is.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Under the Sea

I spent three hours underwater today and two and half yesterday. I am slowly growing gills, as it should be. The diving here in Mabul/Sipadan is really good. The visibility is a bit reduced because of last week’s storms, but the storms didn’t reduce the fantastic amount and diversity of sea life I’ve seen. We’re still a bit limited in the dive sites we can visit because of currents, but everything seems to be calming down so hopefully more areas will be safe to dive.

Mabul, where the oil rig platform-come-resort is stationed, is known as a “muck dive” because there is always a lot of sediment in the water and the visibility is never great. But all that sediment means bajillions of little filter feeders, reef fish, and other critters. I’ve seen several species of sponges, nudibranchs, Christmas tree worms, soft coral, and anemones, plus many types of angel fish, clown fish, pygmy sea horses, damsel fish, gobies, you name it. It is a little weird to see some of the species I used to have in my aquarium as a teenager.

Sipadan is a limestone pillar and not part of the submerged mountain range that makes up the other islands in the park. There is a wall that drops to several hundred meters, and because Sipadan is exposed to the open ocean there is an even greater diversity of marine life present. On my second dive this morning, I saw seven green turtles and a school of barracuda. I also saw three species of shark – grey reef, white tip, and nurse. And more sponges and nudibranchs and coral and soft coral and other fish and even four mermaids.

Enough of the biology lesson. I’m pretty happy with the rig. It is well equipped (even has internet), and the staff is professional, friendly, and laid back. The food is plentiful and very tasty. There is also a karaoke room, but I decline to participate. From the sun deck I can see the other (nicer, more expensive) resorts on Mabul Island itself, but I’m glad to be here b/c I’m saving some cash and there is just something cool about being on a reconverted oil platform. Plus, who needs a beach?

The other divers are in general pretty good. This morning I was with a group about my skill level (advanced open water with 50+ dives). Yesterday I was with three Japanese who have about 2,000 dives between them. They were very friendly and excellent divers. To perpetuate stereotypes about tourists of particular nationalities, each of them had a very expensive underwater digital camera and snapped away throughout the dives. It was kind of annoying, actually, b/c I was trying to commune with nature while they were shoving the macro lens in the pygmy sea horses’ faces.

Currently on board there is a film company based in Cape Town who was hired to do a promotional video for Seaventures. I’m in some of the shots, such as the lunch shot, the signing the dive log book shot, the lift going down to the boat shot, and the recently completed karaoke room bar shot. The staff easily bribed me with a beer to participate b/c they needed “more Europeans” in the frame. Their words, not mine. Look for me in a feature film in the near future.

Tomorrow, more diving.

Photos

I've uploaded some photos in previous posts of my trip to date.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Dive-a-rama

I'm ready. I figure that I've paid my dues with the crappy weather resulting from some typhoon that made land fall somewhere in China. I know that thousands of people have been displaced and that flooding in India has killed a couple of hundred blah blah blah - but I'm on vacation, damn it. These frequent storms have been interfering with my daily activities. Today was the first day that it only rained a little bit.

I'm currently in Kota Kinabalu, the capital of the state of Sabah. There isn't a whole lot to do here. Today I took a daytrip out to some islands off the coast. The islands were pretty, but there was a lot of trash on the beach. This was a bit aggravating b/c I paid 10 ringget to enter and you think the park authorities would use some of the money to hire someone to pick up the trash. But I suppose that pockets must be lined.


Tunkul Abdul Rahman National Park near KK, sans trash

Tomorrow I am off to Sipadan. It better be all that it promises to be. I'm staying on a reconfigured oil rig and hope to dive at least 4 times a day. If my body explodes from too much nitrogen, so be it. That is the price I must pay.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Brunei & Labuan

I opted to travel by land and sea to Labuan instead of taking a flight from Miri. I'm tired of airports, which are the same everywhere, and this way I was able to see more of Malaysia and spend a few hours in the tiny country of Brunei.

I left Miri on the 7 AM bus and was in Brunei by 9. Brunei is very developed and seems to have a high standard of living thanks to its vast oil wealth, which unlike in most oil-producing countries, the government (which in this case is the Sultan) shares at least some of it with his subjects. I passed through the land-based oil producing region; at times seemed like I was in the Kingdom of Shell Oil. I changed buses a few times and arrived in the capital of Bandar Seri Begawan a little before noon. On the way into the capital there were two police motorcycles clearing the way for a yellow Lambourghini with the royal seal on the door panels. Someone was out for a spin. Speaking of the sultan, it was his birthday recently. The country was plastered with banners in celebration of his big day.

There isn't a whole lot to do in Bandar. I walked around and checked out the enormous mosque and the water village, which is a bunch of floating shacks except the shacks have plumbing and satelite TV. The people were very friendly; two gave unsolicited help to make sure that I wasn't lost. I think my backpack and absence of a Landcruiser with the Shell insignia threw them off.

The mosque in Bandar
I took the 3:30 ferry to Labuan, which is a duty-free island that is part of Malaysia. The town has a good vibe, in part because it serves as a tourist destination with cheap electronics for people from other parts of Malaysia and alcohol for non-muslims escaping Brunei. The first "hotel" I looked at was totally skanky so I decided to upgrade to one that costs $20/night. At first I was thrilled to have TV in the room but was a later disillusioned to learn that there are only 4 channels, the HBO sometimes switches off, and the programming on one channel last night consisted of people singing Muslim prayers.

Today was pretty relaxed. I had hoped to dive some of the WWII wrecks off the coast, but the one dive shop here wasn't going out since the weather has been bad. Instead I visited a few WWII sites on land. I saw the beach where Gen. MacArthur and the Allied troops landed, a war cemetery, and some Peace Park built by the Japanese that had a big stone that read, "Peace Is Best." It is.

I'm spending about a half day too long here, but at least the food here is really good. I gorged on stingray last night, and I am going back to the same restaurant this evening.
Labuan street food
Tomorrow morning I am taking a ferry to Kota Kinabalu. I'm kind of excited to see what the extra 4 ringget for the first class ticket will get me. Maybe a coffee?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Gunung Mulu National Park

I'm back in Miri after a 3 day visit to Gunung Mulu National Park in Mulu. I arrived around 10 AM on Saturday.


Miri Airport

At the park headquarters I was able to sign on with a group going to the Pinnacles the next day. In the afternoon, I visited two caves close to the headquarter's entrance - Deer Cave and Lang's Cave. The walk to the cave was along an easy plank pathway but passed through some nice forest. I saw a pygmy squirrel and some really interesting intsects. Both the caves were really cool, and the entrance to Deer Cave is supposedly the highest in the world. At dusk a bajillion bats streamed out of the caves.


Deer Cave

Our Pinnacles group of 7 (3 Americans, 1 Spaniard, 1 Indian, and 2 Malaysians) left the park headquarters around 9 AM on Sunday. We travelled up river and saw two more caves (Wind and Clearwater) along the way. After the caves, we continued upriver to the trailhead. The river was low so we all had to get out of the boat and push many times. We then hiked 8 km along a flat path through the rainforest to Camp 5, the base for the trek to the Pinnacles.

Monday was the big day. We left Camp 5 around 7 AM and started the slow ascent up the mini-mountain. The path was well marked, but it was mostly up hill and involved a lot of scrambling over tree roots and sharp rocks. After 2 km, the path involved more ladders and metal planks to cover the final 0.4 km. The 2.4 km took us almost 4 hours. The Pinnacles were pretty amazing. I'd post some pictures, but I can't download from my camera to this computer. So therefore I direct you to the magic of google.com. Anyway, after an hour or so of relaxing and lunch some clouds started to roll in and it began to rain. The trek down sucked, and my legs were exhausted. Thankfully the rain stopped after about an hour.


The Pinnacles

Back at camp, I jumped in the river to cool off and clean up. We left Camp 5 this morning around 7, and once again it rained for about half of our trek and for part of the boat ride, which involved slightly less of jumping into the river and pushing through the shallow parts. I had lunch and took a flight to Miri, where I am now. Laundry is at the top of my list of things to do, followed by dinner and beer. Tomorrow I will leave Sarawak, pass through the sultanate of Brunei, and hopefully make it to Labuan by mid-afternoon.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Lambir Hills NP

I went to Lambir Hills National Park today. After a bit of jickiness on the bus route, I was dropped off at the entrance around 11 AM. The only problem was that it was pouring. So I sat, read a book, had lunch, and stared until the rain let up enough for me to declare that it had stopped and was therefore safe to go hiking in the forest.

Since I didn't leave the park headquarters until 1, I didn't have as much time as I would have liked. But the trip was still worth it. I hiked up a big hill called Bukit Pantu and had some amazing views of the rainforest canopy and clearing wisps of clouds. While walking around the little pagoda/look out at the top, I walked right smack into a giant cobweb. I like spiders, but walking into their webs always gives me the heebiejeebies. Then I realized that the web crackled, just like the webs of the black widows at the Lazy K. All I could think of was the opening scene in Arachnophobia and started swatting my entire body madly. Nothing. Later on I saw a big-ass shiny black spider with a super thin waist and red markings on the underside of the abdomen climbing up what remained of its web. I decided to leave it alone and head back down the trail. I stopped off at the Pantu waterfall for a quick dip in what were hopefully schistosomiasis-free waters. When checking out of the headquarters, I showed the staff a picture of the spider and they confirmed that it was indeed poisonous.

Pantu Waterfall

I head to Gunung Mulu National Park tomorrow and may not be able to update for 5 days or so.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

just a tad bit jet lagged

Sleep deprived is probably the more appropriate term. I've taken lots of little naps on the 22 hours of flight time that it took me to get here (note that I excluded layovers), but no good night's sleep. Until this evening, I hope. My last nap on the Johor Bahru - Miri flight was rudely interrupted by two toddlers in the rows in front of me playing an extended game of screech and hide. I thought Asian children were supposed to be well-behaved. I wanted to stuff them into an overhead at the back of the plane.

Today was a day of transit. I arrived in Singapore around 12:30 AM and quickly succumbed to a moderate case of cheapbastarditis. I didn't want to pay the equivalent of US$90 for a taxi ride and hotel room for what would have been 7 hours of sleep. So, in the spirit of Puerto Rico '89, I spent the night in the airport but didn't sleep for want of extremely uncomfortable hard plastic chairs. I read, made mental notes for Borneo, observed people, and watched the airport wake up.

My impressions of Singapore so far are limited to the night in the airport and the trip into the city this morning so I could catch a bus into Malaysia. Singapore seems wealthy and well organized. I had a tasty breakfast of rice noodle soup garnished with various animal and shellfish parts. Breakfast in food stalls and transport are fairly cheap, but little else is. I noticed some steep fines that reflect the soft authoritarianism of the country. Eat on the subway? S$500 (about US$370). Smoke on the subway? S$1000. Import illegal drugs into the country? Death. Apparently chewing gum is illegal too, so I'm lucky I escaped with my life since I have about 4 packs of Orbit in my luggage. If caught, the authorities might think I arrived with intent to distribute. And as almost anyone can tell you, especially someone who just finished taking the bar, ignorance of the law is no excuse.

Malaysia has more of the feel I've been after. For one, you can chew gum. While things work okay and certainly better than in some other locales, the sister city of Johor Bahru lacks the luster of its uppity sibling Singapore across the Johore Strait. For example, there wasn't a neat stack of immigration forms before you entered the country. In fact, there were few forms at all; I think I got the last one. The buses continuing on into JB didn't pull up to the depot like they did in Singapore.* I missed wherever they pick up the passengers and ended up walking for about 10 - 15 minutes to the bus depot where you catch the bus to the airport.**

I arrived in Miri around 4 and did little. I took a much-needed shower and then walked around town a bit and had dinner. Tomorrow I'm going to Lambir Hills National Park. But for now, I am going to bed.


*To get to Johor Bahru, in theory you buy one ticket and ride any bus from the same company for the various parts of your journey through the two countries' immigration and customs and then on to your final destination.

**I could admit some fault on my part for being oblivious to the obvious, but instead I will blame an entire country.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Finito

Done. Now I get to pack up my apartment, run a bunch of errands, load up a moving truck in 95 degree heat, drive for a while, unload said moving truck in 105 degree heat, pack, and then spend 36 hours on a plane and in transit before I can say I'm on vacation. But I feel like I am already there.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Beyond Thursday


Around 4 this morning I woke up feeling sick because I couldn't remember what a holder in due course was or the elements of negotiability. I almost got up to check my notes, but I refused to let this stupid exam take that much control over my life. Up until now, I've been sleeping fine. Maybe my studying yesterday threw me off a bit. I did some MBE questions and did pretty well (confidence boost!) and then proceeded to totally suck on the civ pro and evidence portion (I'm gonna fail!). Sometimes I wish, "you can't do that" were an acceptable response.

I did essays this afternoon and will do some minimal studying tonight and tomorrow. It is over at this point. I'm pretty sure I can hit 70% (well, 67.5%), which is all I need. A new concern I have is that my handwriting blows. I've had daymares where I fail the bar and then get a letter saying that the bar examiners simply couldn't decipher the scratches I turned in as my answers and thus were forced to fail me.

To distract me from all of this, last night and this morning I obsessively planned my bar trip. I decided to rearrange my itinerary and skip southern Sarawak. Even though it sounds totally cool, I need to have more buffer time for when things go wrong or when I have to sit around for a day or so. Malaysia seems really developed, but I think this is a trick. I had to remember the finely honed skills I learned in the land where everything is broken. I'm focusing on this park and diving with lots of great filler in between. I'm still working on the dive part; I originally planned to just show up and look for dive operators and accomodation since the resorts are super-expensive, but I'm thinking that might be a bit risky. I may do a stationary live-aboard on a reconfigured oil rig.

So, there is life beyond the bar. I'll be in a jungle in South East Asia in two weeks whether or not I can answer the question about the negotiability of a draft received by an alleged holder in due course.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

No more model answers

I need a reality check. I am tired of reading perfect answers that rattle off the 6 things you are supposed to file to protect a party from an abusive spouse or the three elements required to prove slander of title. The answers seem obvious when you read them, but usually when I am outlining there are more than a few questions that elicit a response of, "I have no idea. Confrontation clause?"

I want to see the answers of real life people who passed the bar with less than perfect responses. People who wrote "???" after being asked for the procedure that must be followed to take a victim's oral deposition. Or people who say the litigants in a will contest should just share the savings account, or who write that the mortgage company is staffed with bastards because it foreclosed on the old lady's house after she couldn't pay her medical bills.

If I had a better idea of what is really required to pass, maybe I'd be able to watch "So You Think You Can Dance" without thinking about neglecting consumer rights or commercial paper or other subjects I avoided in law school. Because really, 7 hours of studying a day is already too much.

I resolve to take most of Sunday and Monday off. I'm learning nothing new at this point.

Bar-Bri Class Action

I assume that everyone who took BarBri got a notice of the class action law suit. About time. I'm not surprised that BarBri is in cahoots with my evil former employer.* The NYT ran an article on this last December that gives some more detail. It is a good thing that I'm not on the jury, or the defense lawyer would be using one of their preemptive strikes against me during the voir dire.

And to all the Republicans who complain about lawsuit abuse: screw you. I want my coupon.


*Moonlit as a GRE instructor in DC since the Hill job didn't pay so well when I started. Why didn't I go to grad school in biology?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Is studying for the bar the worst experience ever?

No, but it is definitely up there on my list.

I am very tired of studying, and I never liked studying to begin with. I also hate studying and not making any measurable progress. For example, I'm still getting about half the MBE questions wrong. Did I go to law school? What was the use of an insanely expensive bar prep course if I feel like I'm doing about the same as I was in late May?

I suppose this drawn out torture that is the bar ranks up there with my junior year spring semester when I took biochemistry and genetics. I hated both and got crappy grades to boot. Oh, I'm forgetting the protein purification lab, where once a week I would spend 8+ hours in the basement of the biology building, grinding up mouse livers and then analyzing them. We'd get a break for dinner.

As for concentrated unpleasantness, this summer prep period doesn't quite rank up there with some of the following gems I've experienced (in no particular order):
  • Having a rat jump on my head (perhaps as revenge for the torture I inflicted on its rodent brethren in the protein purification lab?)
  • Malaria
  • Having an "acid bug" fall on my face 2 mm from my right eye, going to a third world hospital for treatment, and then spending half a day looking for the medication.
  • Getting mugged by five guys at knife point in downtown Johannesburg at 10 AM.
  • Food poisoning in Lençois, Brazil. The water went out in my hotel room, so I wasn't able to flush my diarrhea before I shoved my face in the toilet bowl to puke. And then I couldn't rinse the vomit taste out of my mouth.
I'm sure once next Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday have passed, I'll be able to add them up there. And then next year I will add the Feb 07 bar as well.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Essay Q/A preview

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1) Werkljerj aldjfkldjf wklejr lskjd? Explain fully.

2) Adlkfjalkf wklejr slkjslkjdf. Sl;dkjfkldf welkrj:
a) Werklj wekljr erlkjer? Explain fully.
b) Lkjkljeklj lkjfgkljf elkjrkltjjk lkjflkjg? Explain fully.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Goodbye, Coin Laundry

Goodbye, Coin Laundry
Goodbye to the $1 loads of wash
Goodbye, homeless people who sleep on the concrete floors
and the creepy people who don't

Goodbye to lugging loads of laundry across the street
'round a dangerous curve

Goodbye to searching for that last quarter to feed the dryer

Thursday, July 13, 2006

MPT

Why is it so tempting to blow off this section of the bar? If you think about it, at 10%, the Mulitstate Performance Test counts for more than the excruciatingly painful civil and criminal procedure section when you exclude what you are already learning for evidence. So, I should be spending more time on the MPT than on the procedure crap.

But writing a legal memo? And studying for how best to write a legal memo?

Maybe I'll do a practice one later this evening. But first, I am going to eat tacos, drink beer, and watch summer re-runs and trashy TV.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Random observations from a Tuesday in the trenches

I'm working through the advanced MBE questions in our BarBri materials. I think this is a mistake. I did fine on contracts yesterday, but on torts this morning I scored a little better than guessing. The difficulty is not that I don't know the material (well, maybe I don't), but that some of the questions test on totally bizarre topics, like the "firefighter's doctrine." Or that angry bees are domestic animals, even when they swarm after a car crashes into their hive. Some of the questions say the exact opposite as what we learned in class, like the effect of assumption of risk in comparative negligence states. I'm starting to remember the strange, rarely tested exceptions and forget the more general rules that comprise the bulk of the questions. Great.

As for the essays, some are okay, but commercial paper - wtf. At least we are all in the same boat.

Ugh.

At the gym today some guy was hogging the flat bench. He was there for almost 30 minutes, and he wasn't even using it for exercises that require the use of a bench. I did other stuff until he got on my nerves, then I politely asked if I could work in. He said, "um, yes." I didn't let him back in because I was going to make him ask for it. He didn't, and chose to do some bicep curls instead, which don't require the use of a bench. Maybe he was scared of me because I traded in my golden locks for a buzz cut.

Here's some good news about Prof. Benjamin a faculty member at UT who has been nominated to one (of two) of Brazil's Supreme Courts.* I guess that means he won't be coming back next spring. Too bad for future UT students; he is a good prof who seems to care about his students and helped me out with a lot of Brazil stuff over the past two years.

And finally, I don't know what this whole "Evening Study Schedule" is. I'm dead at 5, and all I want to do is eat lasagna and watch movies. Criminal and Civil Procedure and Evidence and the MPT just won't be committed to memory.


*Roughly, the STF handles all cases with constitutional questions. The STJ handles everything else. The STF is more akin to our Supreme Court even though the STJ is the highest federal court for most matters.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Simple pleasures

On the way to the last day of BarBri yesterday, I stopped for coffee and a bagel. A guy was sitting outside in the sun, reading a novel and drinking his coffee.

I was jealous.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Cruel joke for recent grads?

Dear Dean ad interim Goode:

Thank you for your fundraising solicitation letter. As you may know, I graduated from the Law School this past May. Like many recent grads, I am deeply in debt and my first several pay checks are already allocated to paying off my credit card bill. What little money I have must get me through the rest of the month and pay for my bar trip to Borneo. Ask me next spring and maybe I'll give $100.

Sincerely,

Blogazon

P.S. - Could you retroactively change my 1st year Property grade? You know, the one where I got totally screwed since it was lowered after it was posted? If you recall, you were the one who said "no" after the real Dean and the Property professor said "yes."

---------------

The Law School's annual fund drive for 2006 will soon be over,
and I am writing one last time to ask for your help. This is an
exciting time for the Law School. As you probably know, Larry Sager
will be taking over as dean on September 1. He has great ambitions for
the Law School, and a strong finish to our annual fund drive will help
get him off to a running start. Your support enables us to compete for
the very best faculty and the very best students, two of the critical
components of a great law school. The third, of course, is a great
alumni base.

We are proud of our alumni; we want you to be proud of us. Please lend
your support. We will put your donation to good use.

You can send your contribution to:

The University of Texas School of Law
727 East Dean Keeton Street
Austin, TX 78705

Online contributions may be made by going to:
http://services.texasexes.org/site/R?i=PVff7CtKYIBZoSvK_bbJOQ.. .

If you have any questions, please call us at (512) 232-1220.

Thanks.

Best wishes,

Steven Goode
Dean ad interim

Sunday, July 02, 2006

WWJD

A friend drops you off after dinner and comes up to your apartment for about an hour. It is night and has been raining off and on all day. Your friend parked without a permit, but since you have lived in the same complex for 3 years and have yet to even see a tow truck in the vicinity, you assume that everything will be fine. Plus it is summer and there are open parking spaces.

Your friend leaves and then comes back about 2 minutes later because a white Lexus is parked where the 1992 Nissan Sentra used to be. Of course your friend's car was towed, and you must make a very annoying 11 PM trip to the tow yard by the fucking airport. Betty, the tow yard skank, is clad in a loose t-shirt and sweat pant shorts and is in desperate need of a hair stylist. She charges your friend $191.45 to liberate his car. Betty is a tad bit bitchy and says the tow trucks patrol, but I find this to be a stretch since I've never seen a tow truck guy get out and check front windshields for permits, especially at night when it is raining. This only reinforces my previous conclusion that some gigantic asshole who lives in the complex called the towing company.

Upon your return, you park your car and see four empty spaces but note that two cars lack parking permits. You would:

A) Report the two vehicles to the towing company.

B) Let the air out of the tires of the white Lexus.

C) Leave a note under the windshield of the white Lexus that said, "Hi - I don't know if you called the towing company last night to have a white Nissan that was parked in this space towed. If you didn't, this note doesn't apply to you. If you did, you suck. There were several open spaces as well as the lot around back. And it was dark and raining."

D) Leave a note under the windshield wiper of the two cars lacking permits. The note says, "You don't have a permit to park here. If I were a hater, I'd call and have you towed, like someone did to my friend. Consider this your lucky day. I saved you $191.45 and a trip to the tow yard by the airport."

Friday, June 30, 2006

Hace tres años

We all know what I am really doing with my time. But for today only, I leave the land of stolen towels, excruciatingly boring civil procedure mini-essays, and impossible MBE questions and head to a happier place in a land far, far away in the not so distant past. Three years ago - to this day, to be precise - I was camping out in a refugio in Laguna Colorada in southwest Bolivia.

Laguna Colorada Day 3; Monday, 6/30

Today was great. The morning started off with S* and I antagonizing the annoying Australian girl by defending Starbuck's, dissing anti-globalization protestors, and making comments like, "I'm pro-sweat shop."

The scenery today was once again spectacular and even more remote and desolate. Far fewer plants. The first major stop was Laguna Verde, which is on the Chilean border. The water was very calm, so the reflection of Volcán Licancabur was very clear.

We had lunch at some hot springs, which were wonderful to bathe/sit in.


The Frenchie and the Australian chick didn't get in, even though the Frenchie smells. It was a pleasant experience to sit in 90º + F water in 40º weather amid desolate mountain scenery.

We then stopped at some very interesting geothermal vents, complete w/ bubbling mud and sulphur steam. The vents were some of the coolest things we've seen so far.

We arrived at Laguna Colorada fairly early - 4 PM. Now that we're on the far more common 4-day circuit, we've seen many more tour groups and the competition for lodging has increased. So far, I'm very glad we left from Tupiza.


*Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

WTF - Gregory Gym towel thieves

I had a great swim at the gym this afternoon. By chlorinating my respiratory system, I hopefully put the last nail in the coffin of my off season flu/cold/please turn off the air conditioning because it is making me sick.

In the locker room, some naked guy walked into the shower and said, "is this your towel with the keys on top?"

Me: Yes, it is. Why, did someone take your towel?

Naked guy: Yes.

Me: That happened to me last week. Someone swiped my towel by the pool.

Naked guy: that is SO annoying.


I mean, if we were in junior high, stealing towels might be kind of funny. But we're not. All the towel thief/thieves are doing is pissing people off and spreading cooties.

Monday, June 26, 2006

I'm sick...

of BarBri. I developed some kind of allergic respiratory reaction to the action-packed weekend of fun in North Austin. Or maybe I'm sick from the super air conditioned indoors of Texas summers. 95 outside, 60 inside. I'm recovering today by (1) skipping BarBri and (2) sweating out the sick in my un-air conditioned apartment. I just pretend like I'm back in Garoua or Belém and the heat feels kind of good.

Speaking of problems from changing climates, I saw An Inconvenient Truth this past weekend. I thought the film was really good, and Gore did a good job of summarizing the science behind the issue. The vignettes of his personal life were a bit hokey, but they provided some comic relief.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

missile defense

So, within a few days North Korea is probably going to test a long-range missile that could reach the US. And I've heard on NPR that the US might try to shoot it down with our fledgling missile defense system. And we'll probably miss. Then we'll look like huge idiots. Maybe we could shoot at it and not tell anyone.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Special secret magic tips

I'm tired of being given the "inside scoop" and "special tips" that will help me on the bar exam. Almost everyone I know is taking BarBri, and the few that aren't being subjected to the daily hell on North Lamar are taking Micromash, which is a subsidiary of Thomson, the same company that owns BarBri.*

So, if basically everyone who takes the bar prepares for it with a bar review course run by Thompson, is there any real advantage to taking a bar review course? The tip Mr. Chemerinsky gave us today that the application of an ex post facto law to a civil case is always a wrong answer? Everyone knows it, so you gain nothing. Also, what is the point of a competitive edge when all you need to do is pass?

Yes, BarBri/Micromash gives you all the material you supposedly need to know, but the vast amount of information is entirely too much for me to process by the end of July, let alone remember. I bet if we all took the bar exam a week after graduation, giving us time to skim subjects we didn't take in law school like commercial paper or family law, our pass rate would be the same.

Speaking of pass rates, that is the source of comfort as well as one of frustration. If 90% of UT students pass the TX bar the first time around, what is the point of the bar exam? I think it is merely hazing. As a corollary, if you can learn everything you need to know to be a lawyer in a two-month period, what is the point of law school? In Brazil, a lawyer I worked with at the Ministry of Environment studied for and eventually passed an examination process to become a federal prosecutor. They had 4 rounds of examinations, and something like 2% of all people who take it pass. Now THAT is a bar exam.**

So, what will I do this afternoon now that I have convinced myself that studying for the bar (and the bar itself) is pointless and that the three days at the end of July are nothing but a frat boy initiation ceremony for professionals to be? Study. Because I really don't want to be part of the 10%.

*And the same company that owns Westlaw. It is all one gigantic scam.
**If we had the same process here, I would be a biologist.

Monday, June 19, 2006

abacaxi

Pineapples are on sale at HEB. They're $3.99 a piece. I really like pineapple, so I caved. The one I bought last week was really good. The one I bought this week isn't so good. I might turn it into a smoothie instead of eating it plain.

$4 seems like a lot because in Cameroon they were around 400 francs, or about 75 cents. I'd have to eat the entire thing in a day because it would rot if I didn't and attract even more ants to my kitchen. Thus, I would have pineapple Sunday. The ones in Brazil were even better. I miss this guy from my 'hood in Belém:

His pineapples were R$ 2 - 3, or about a dollar. And they were awesome and always suitable for eating plain, never needing to be sent to the blender.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Hey, asshole

You took my towel. You know, the big navy blue bath towel that was placed on one of the chairs in front of my lane at the outdoor UT pool this afternoon? I can see how you might have been confused since there were two other navy blue towels out of the 40 or so that were there today, but those two were at the other end of the pool. I'm not sure why you thought my towel was yours, 'cause you weren't sitting there, and when you picked the towel up some keys that weren't yours fell off.

In any case, since you weren't polite enough to return it when you realized that it wasn't yours, I hope that it got your face and hair nice and dry. Only two days ago I used the same towel to wipe off my sweaty balls and dry my ass crack.

After my swim, I was ogled by a certain Texas Supreme Court Justice known to enjoy looking at the scantily clad male form. I was stretching, not performing.

So, all in all a fantastic swim today.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Revolting

The guy in front of me in BarBri this morning was dipping snuff and spitting into a dirty Ruby's BBQ cup that attracted flies. I wanted to puke. I had a hard time concentrating on piercing shareholders or whatever. Apparently he is not alone.

Sad addiction, or acceptance of reality?

The country of Brazil is shutting down in preparation for its first game in the 2006 World Cup.

To understand the extent of the madness, consider that the Senate and House of Deputies will go out of session beginning at 2 PM. Most shops in Brasília will close 30 minutes prior to and won't reopen until after the game. And in São Paulo, the BOVESPA (stock exchange) is closing 2 hours early. And this is just Brazil's first game of the tournament.

Poor, poor Croatia.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

White man bi cheat we

The World Cup is underway. This year holds a little less interest since Cameroon didn't qualify, but Brazil did, as always. I remember watching my first World Cup match, Cameroon v. Chile, with PapaLanga in some ratty off license (bar) in Bamenda, Cameroon in 1998. Cameroon lost. The questionable referee decisions really pissed off the Cameroonians, to the point where there was rioting and random violence in Douala and Yaoundé. Bamenda was quiet apart from the nationwide seething of "white man bi cheat we," or that the white man had won once again. Nevermind that the Indominatable Lions lost to Chile, a South American nation whose people are sort of white but still have a colonial legacy. Details.

Thankfully for Cameroon's national pride, the Indominatable Lions went on to win the Africa Cup of Nations in 2000, which resulted in two days of national celebration followed by a national day of hang over. And they won the gold medal at the Sydney olympics in 2000 and another Africa Cup of Nations in 2002. And then someone chopped all the soccer money and the Lions haven't been heard from since.

I watched the 2002 World Cup in Baltimore, Maryland. Brazil crushed Germany. Afterwards, the Brazilian Embassy gave me a free pair of special edition commemorative flip-flops. And then Tom DeLay had to mess everything up by taking a $50,000 golf trip to Scotland with Jack Abramoff.